Wednesday, July 9, 2008

Stop thinking

If you think about not thinking, that means your thinking too much.

Saturday, July 5, 2008

Take Responsibility

Nearly all of you guys who read this blog are all adults.

Once you are an adult, you are responsible for what you do - NO EXCUSES.

You are at an adult, you cannot blame others for your circumstances, because you make your own decisions in life now.

Forget what was in your history, because the present history and what's happening now is your own doing. You cannot blame your parents, friends, family, partner, co-workers or anyone else for that matter.

You are old enough, take responsibility for your own actions. You are responsible for everything that you do. If you got bullshit in your head, you are full of shit. NO EXCUSES.

Being a man is taking responsibility for your actions. Otherwise, you're a pussy.

Friday, July 4, 2008

You do it to yourself

I got to tell you guys about my story, and what I learnt. I take this as a lesson in life, and I hope you can learn something from it too.

Years ago, you guys know that I dated Thao. At first I thought it was a good oppurtunity to have a girlfriend, thats why I first dated her because she caught my attention. As you know, it didn't ended up being successful because I neglected her. Then she dated Dean, and then I got jealous. I wanted her back because of that and because she hurt my ego. I tried everything to get her back - kept calling her so she can take me back or writing letters. I thought it was love, but that was bullshit. It was because of my insecurities in myself and probably lust/sexual desire for revenge. All to boost my ego.

At that time, I was struggling in uni, so I desperately needed someone to emotionally support me. I was fucking desperate. A call from Thao was like heaven to me, because that made me think that someone cared for me - it helped ease my insecurities. Everything she said or wanted to do, i agreed with and I said I wanted to do it with her too. I was a dog or better, a BIG PUSSY! I agreed to everything she said because I wanted to feel accepted. She even ask me to go to Vietnam with her, and I jumped and accepted (which didn't happen - she just went). After a while, nothing happen. I got sick of it and I felt hurt. After I graduated, I went to escape and head to Sydney. I think I was emotionally fucked.

Now Sydney was good, because I was able to do things what I wanted to do - because I had the freedom. The downside was my attitude and the sense of guilt of leaving my parents. I had phone calls from Thao, and I thought she wanted me back. That's why i came back down from Sydney. I was stupid and desperate. again.

Once, I was down back in Adelaide, my parents were already setting up a clinic for me. Now I didn't want to work there, but I worked there anyway to please my parents. So now I was working in a place which I didn't want to be and also working with a person I didn't like. I was not generally happy working at that place.

During this time, I was talking to Thao, and I was shocked to hear that she was seeing another guy. (not dating according to her mind you). Anyway, I felt jealous again - but then I said to myself, enough of this shit. I'm not going to lie to myself again. I didn't love her, I just felt jealous and insecure. I talked to her once during that time, and after I said to myself its better to forget her.

During that time, after I said to forget about her, it was very liberating. I was able to do things that I enjoyed - for instance martial arts, without worrying about anything. I had the feeling of freedom at that time.


Now also during this time, I really started to hate my work. I didn't want to be there in the first place. I was there to please my parents. That's why i started to do things I shouldn't and got into trouble for it (lets hope not a lot of trouble at all).

Now you guys know what happen to me at work at the moment, and the things that happen during that time. I'll discuss that later, that's a different topic.

But what I have learnt through all this, is:

1. Be Honest to yourself - This is a fucking hard thing to do. Don't lie to yourself, you will only make things worse.

2. You're the most important person in a relationship - You have to be happy with yourself. You have to stop thinking that you're not worth anything, and to stop putting yourself down all the time. You have to believe in yourself. Trust yourself.

3. Who cares what other people think - Stop pleasing everyone. It's a trap, in which you are trapping yourself and you are the cause. You don't realise it, but subconsciously you will sabotage yourself because of it. Believe me, it happens. :(

4. The meaning of life is one thing - what you want it to be.

I hope you understand.

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

First Rule : Don't Panic!

Recently, I did something stupid, and the first thing that I did is to panic. Bad mistake!

Panic leads to failure! Because when you panic, you are out of control. Panic is a stupid symptom of fear, which eventually leads to failure. I learnt a good lesson - panicking doesn't help you at all!

I'll say it again, Panicking doesn't help you at all!

One person told me, if somethings going to happen, it's going to happen. You can't do anything about it. So he said, what's the use of panicking?

Be a man and take control of the situation. That's what I have to do!

Thursday, February 21, 2008

Year of the Rat

Hi all!

Sorry I haven't posted for a while. Didn't listen to what I posted. :( But I promise that I'll write more.

But, I haven't been doing nothing, I've been busy writing a new blog. It's been one of my passion for a while. Hope that you enjoy it!


Sunday, February 3, 2008

about this blog

If you're reading this, you're probably asking yourself why I made this blog.

Well I made this blog because I want to share my feelings, my experience and my thinking about myself towards my family and more specifically among my friends.

But the real reason I wrote this blog, is that I want be a role model among my friends and family.

I want you to learn from my mistakes. I don't want you to repeat the same mistakes that I did. I also want you to be stronger, because as friends, I care for you. Hopefully through my experience, you will grow stronger too.

This blog also serves as a feedback mechanism. I want you to tell me if I'm full of shit and ego or I'm just plain wrong. (Or if I'm going the right direction). It also serves to myself as to which direction I'm taking in life and how I am progressing.

To do this, I have to be painfully honest and personal.

All of you are part of my journey, and this is one way I'm letting you know where we're going.

Please give feedback - in your own way.

Peace

Tuesday, January 29, 2008

Letting go of your ego

The problem that I have of myself, is that I think that I'm "top shit" most of the time. That is, I think that I'm right and I am better than them.

When I am like this, I tend to ignore other people's advice or dismiss their experiences. I will usually give people advice telling what they should do instead.

As a result, I miss their wisdom.

Just recently, my brother told me something that I never knew and took me by surprise. He said that nearly all of the billionaires in the world had mentors. Did you know this?

Look at Bill Gates, the second richest person in the world. I thought he did it all by himself, but apparently he had Warren Buffet as his mentor. Even if you look now, Bill Gates is following his mentor in philanthropy.

If you think about it, it makes sense.

Successful people learn from someone who is better than them. They have made all the mistakes already, so you don't have to. They say that people who had made big mistakes would advance to greater rewards because they learnt from it.

Why not learn from the person who is successful in what you are trying to achieve?
We should be listening to their advice. If your friend is successful at investing in houses, you should follow it. Likewise, if they're successful in relationships - listen to what they say and try to emulate it. The advice from successful people is a treasure that they have given us.

Even people who are not successful, we can learn from their mistakes. Try not to dismiss what they are trying to say, but try to understand them and learn from it.

That is what I need to do. To let go of my ego.

Peace